March 25, 2005

Moon Thoughts : Worm Moon.

Good Friday, the end of Lent. I hadn't expected the season to take so much out of me. If I'm honest with myself, which I try my best to be, I have to admit that I just could not keep up with my own expectations.

My promise to meditate twice daily faltered right around spring break, when I had to return home to a loud and stressful household (loud and stressful environments, especially my parents' house, tend to drive me into a fragile waking-sleep where mental focus seems entirely impossible, not to mention useless). But I have learned something. The effort at least reminded me to be kind to myself, to accept that I cannot take on endless resolutions and obligations, especially self-imposed, if they serve to distract me even further and distance me from the Divine.

I wanted to perform a small full moon ritual tonight, to celebrate not only the moon's phase but also the Vernal Equinox (which was last Sunday, March 20) and Good Friday, but I spent the past three hours cleaning my dorm room preparing for my departure early tomorrow morning to visit my boyfriend's family for the weekend. I'm tired. So for now, it's enough to sit here and watch the incense spiral gently upwards, and recognize that, with rest, there is also gratitude, appreciation, and an abiding trust.

gray worm wind
ribbed skin drift
swallow air, curl
across a dim lamp
churning light to ash
and grip blue twitch


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